How to build up your confidence!

By | Bible Study, Faith, Personal Development, Personal Growth | No Comments

 

Let’s have a talk sweet friend. If I could impart to you ONE thing it would be confidence. I believe that it (along with fear as its equal) is most people’s biggest struggle. 

I believe that we are born thinking we can do anything. Ask a 4 year old what they want to be when they grow up. You’ll get all kinds of answers. Some may even want to be the moon itself. They have so much confidence that they don’t even consider limitations!

So what happens? The enemy uses other people to tear our confidence down. We are labeled, told what we can and can’t do, and made to feel insecure. Words spoken over us at an early age sink into our souls and we start to believe them. We develop wrong thoughts and perceptions about ourselves and some are forever trapped in that.

That is NOT how we are suppose to feel. If we really love God we have to believe what He says about us. 

You see, He doesn’t make mistakes. He made you exactly the way you are on purpose. If you’re not confident in who you are, you need to ON PURPOSE change your mindset. You need to feed your brain and ears with the TRUTH about who you really are. Faith it until you make it. Believe the TRUTH, that you are beautiful, unique, worthy, IMPORTANT and beloved, IN FAITH. Choose to believe the good over the bad. Choose to believe that you matter. Choose to believe that the world needs your gifts!

Surround yourself only with people that life you higher. Refuse to be with those that don’t value you.

Learn that we are all just people in the end, trying to figure this thing called life out. You can do anything anyone else can do, you just have to take the leap and DO it!

Get over trying to be perfect. In the end, DONE is better than perfect any day. Don’t get to the end of your life and say what if I had just stepped out. I wish I had not let fear stop me. But instead choose to live boldly so you and look back and say, YEAH, I TOTALLY DID THAT!

Blessings,

Melodye

melodye reynolds

Boundaries Can Help You Find Happiness and Peace

By | Faith, Personal Development, Personal Growth, Uncategorized | No Comments

 

To view this video on YouTube click HERE

I recently did a live broadcast all about one thing that I have done that has had the most profound effect on my quality of life and happiness is to create boundaries in my life. Yes, as a Jesus follower I am certainly called to love but I am in no way called to be a doormat or to endure abuse and neither are you. So many people life unhappy lives because they are afraid to set up and enforce boundaries in their lives. You only get one life, and Jesus didn’t die for you to live it and be miserable.

So what are boundaries?

Boundaries are how you define what is and isn’t acceptable in your life.

How do you establish boundaries in your life?

Boundaries are how you teach people to treat you. Yes, I said teach. What you allow teaches others how you can be treated. They are how you define what you will and won’t put up with. What is and what isn’t allowed in your world. It’s important that you understand that you are not responsible for other people, but yourself instead. Yes there are times when you should help others but we must all do our own part in the world and sometimes people don’t and that’s when problems happen.

Words are important when establishing boundaries. Communicating is key. One of the most powerful words is NO. Saying no can be freeing. Learning to say no to things that aren’t good for you and don’t move you forward can change your life. 

A powerful phrase that can be used to set up boundaries is “I don’t like it when…”  you criticize me, you put me down, you call me names, you yell at me, you cut me off when I am speaking, you bring up that subject, you are negative…on and on. These are clear messages that explain something that makes you uncomfortable. If the person continues to do what you say bothers you, remove yourself from the situation.

Physical distance is another way to set up boundaries. Some situations and relationships will require you to physically remove yourself from them. Even Jesus removed Himself from both at times. This can be permanent or temporary. By removing yourself you are saying that it is something you will no longer tolerate and it gives people a wake up call. They can either choose to correct their behavior or they have the consequence of not being around you.

Now this may sound harsh, but think about it. How many times have you kept someone in your life because you don’t want to hurt them only to wind up miserable in your own life? Sometimes that leads to abuse. By taking authority over what you will and won’t allow in your life, you are creating your own happiness. That isn’t being selfish or cruel. By telling someone what you don’t like and making it clear what you won’t be around, they ultimately have the choice of changing thier behavior or not. That is their responsibility. You are responsible for your actions. We need to take responsibility for our own choices and if they don’t, then they have made the decison.

You cannot control or change how another person behaves but you can choose how you respond. Some people will never change and that is their choice, you choose whether you can continue the relationship and behavior or not. You can limit your exposure to them. There is nothing to feel guilty about either. Being around people that tear you down is not good for you. By taking control, you are taking responsibility.

A lot of times the fear of being alone keeps people in situations that are joy suckers or dangerous. Fear is a lie from the pit of hell and I detest it. It stopped me for many years and I am passionate about helping people to conquer it. The enemy uses it to keep us from walking in all that God has for us and I rebuke it! Honestly, I would rather be alone and with the Lord than to ever be abused again. Lonely beats abuse and negativity any day. If you let go of toxic people and relationships, you make room for healthy ones.

To learn more about boundaries I suggest reading the book Boundaries which you can find HERE!

overwhelm

One way to deal with overwhelm

By | goal setting, healthy living, Personal Development, Personal Growth | No Comments

Many of us deal with feeling overwhelmed and why wouldn’t we? We fulfill so many different roles. Parent, spouse, friend, co-worker, home keeper and on and on. We have a 20 plates spinning all at the same time and we rush to each on to keep it from crashing only to have them all crash at once! Can you feel me on THAT? I see you shaking your head up and down thinking mmmmm hhhmmmmm…

A concept that I learned about that really helped me to understand WHY I feel so overwhelmed and then how to feel less like that is something called open loops. In his book (which I highly recommend) Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress- Free Productivity David Allen tells us that open loops are all those tasks we have to do that are constantly running through our brains. You know, the stuff that usually comes to mind as you try to turn your brain off for the day? He explains that trying to remember all these tasks is like having all the apps open on your phone, it drains your battery (aka, brain and energy). By writing all these tasks down and organizing them you allow your brain to release the stress and worry of keeping up with all of them.

In the video I explain how to then take those tasks and organize them in a way that ensures that they actually get done. 

You’re not alone! Many of us struggle with anxiety because we just have so much on our plates that we feel like we can’t take a breath. There are things like this that can help you to be productive and organized so that you don’t deal with that overwhelmed feeling all the time because you know what needs to get done and you’ve got it all organized. 

Did you find this helpful?

Blessings,

Melodye